Now, this one is going to sound sacrilegious to some, but it is suggested as a way to reclaim one of the darker days in recent Ohio State memory, the saga that brought down a Hall of Fame coach, #TattooGate. No? I’m starting to think this isn’t a very good idea. ![]() Still too much? What about a super large tuxedo t-shirt that velcros in the back to get around the pads? You know what, on second thought, what if we just went with a bow tie, cummerbund, and an oversized jacket with tails? Now, of course alterations would need to be made to fit over the shoulder pads and to get on and off quickly (NCAA rules don’t permit players to play in tuxes). I’m talking about a straight-up, tailored, five-piece, James Bond level tuxedo. Now, I’m not talking about the random, ill-fitting tuxedo that you rent for prom or for your cousin Billy’s wedding, because he needed an extra groomsman and he doesn’t really have a lot of close friends like that, and he thought that it would be nice to have a family member stand up for him, even though he knows that you guys were never really all that close growing up, but he really hopes that that will change now that you’re both adults. LOOK: Memphis' 'Takeaway Robe' is on another level Move over Miami, Tulane has a Mardi Gras-themed turnover chainĬan you imagine how much of a limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun a player must feel like wearing that robe? Now, add in an extra dash of class, and you have the turnover tuxedo. While schools like Miami and OSU’s Week 4 opponent Tulane have gone with easy to slip on jewelry, Memphis is stylin’ and profilin’ with their robe. This season, the Memphis Tigers debuted their Ric Flair-inspired Turnover Robe. The only question is, do we make it an actual, edible turnover, or a giant, over-sized, display-only turnover? And think about the possibilities, we could have a cherry turnover be for a fumble recovery, and an apple be for an interception or vice versa, I’m flexible. So, for me, a turnover has always been seen as a reward. I hated up-selling, but I was competitive, and even though I hated Jamocha shakes and curly fries, I wanted to win. Often, at the end of a shift, whoever sold the most turnovers would get a free Jamocha shake or curly fry or something like that. Back then, Arby’s was all about roast beef, and they weren’t ashamed of that fact.Īnyway, one of the things that we were taught to say at the end of every order was, “Would you like an apple or cherry turnover with your order today?” Most of the time, people would just say “No”- annoyed that I was trying to up-sell them in an Arby’s, as if the experience wasn’t bad enough already- and pull up to the window.īut, what the customers didn’t know was that the only times that I would ever actually ask that annoying question was when we were being incentivized to sell those turnovers. This was also long before they went and got all of those exotic Ruebens, gyros, and brisket. This was in the days when the 5 for $5 wasn’t some long-ago special, it was just the normal price for roast beef sandwiches. When I turned 16, I got my very first job working the drive-thru at the Arby’s in Pickerington. ![]() So, with that in mind, I have three modest proposals for props that Urban Meyer’s team could celebrate with after a takeaway. A mascot! Who doesn’t love a mascot? And while turning your nose up at a turnover prop is not the same as refusing to have an anthropomorphized wolverine running around the sideline, as a proud Ohio State alum, I’d prefer not to even entertain the idea of doing something that would put our beloved program in the same snooty discussion as our rivals. ![]() Seriously, Michigan is too good to have a mascot. You know how everyone from TTUN, with their “Michigan Man” superiority, thinks that they are better than everyone else? Well, one of the things that the high and mighty team from Ann Arbor refuses to do to assimilate with the plebeians of the college football world is have a mascot. If the band doing cool stuff at halftime doesn’t prove to you that it’s ok for the Buckeyes to get into the spirit and adopt a turnover prop, then think about it this way.
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